stained red with the blood of skinned knees
you wanted me to tread on it and get by i can't do it.
beyond the option of its fragrance -
a nipping itch that begs you to paw, scratch and then nod towards a mindless concensus jasmine marks the genesis of discontentment a fear greater than that of salmon thrashing upstream to their near certain destiny cold white strobe lights, pulsating and smooth glid over age-wrinkled fingers - i shivered hairs on end and hearts stifling groans to now know what beauty meant my mouth agape to speak then realise that i could not
for better reasons,
i've chosen to make my personal entries friends-only. to friends not on lj: still trying to work something out for you guys that hopefully won't be too troublesome. give me a message on msn if you want to continue reading. to friends still on lj: i'm not updating my friends list much, so no worries. to new friends or the weary stranger: drop me a message if you want to add me!
it was an eminent disaster unfolding in slow motion,
one which was inevitable but painful nonetheless. i envision crashing concrete dominoes - but nobody talks about the towers these days. i wonder if prometheus felt it any less after a couple of weeks. i remember someone in my secondary school giving a good analogy: you can't hold sand too loosely in your hands; it might slip away. but at the same time, you can't hold sand too tightly in your hands, cos you might hurt yourself from the pressure you're applying to it. we look upon the cherry blossoms and wish that we could hold them in time, if only momentarily, prevent them from falling so soon, and so quickly, that we'd consider ourselves blessed by their beauty. we can't stop the winters; we can only look forward to the new summers.
well love, it's sheared my heart
and it's cold and blue and hollow i have no more hair to let down i have no more tears to cry save those that aren't my own the green that paints the forest all turns to black after dusk drove myself crazy, crazy waiting these chains are turning into rust so i am free, you say free to leave, we all have the choice to be but i am bound, i am bound simply left up on this tower you are free to deceive me but i'll warn you it won't be so easy i've given up on believing in you i've given up on expectations you say you're blinded, you say that i'll be the only one, well i think i'm the only one til the next one comes, stop those words on your lips so i am free, you say free to leave, we all have the choice to be but i am bound, i am bound simply left up on this tower you are free to deceive me but i'll warn you it won't be so easy i've given up on believing in you i've given up on love, what does it mean, a cheap promise people throw away, now i know better, i know better so i am free, you say free to leave, we all have the choice to be but i am bound, i am bound simply left up on this tower you are free to deceive me but i'll warn you it won't be so easy i've given up on believing in you i'm giving up on you
in a sea of taut sinewy flesh veiled in red and white fabric,
i realised i desired something else. you could be the sweetest apricot wine, but a case of you and i would still want something else. toxic incoherent thumping, careless flutters, shallow smiles, a long wait for insufficient poison, guilt without need, emotional morphine from eight years of overdose, cristina in denial - with one in the hand, i look to you in the bush, perhaps now half-flown, are you that something else, or are you just something else?
when we were young, in a grey room in cyberspace,
i met a boy through a screen on a chair nine years on, you still call me my old name a Clementine with chameleon hair phone conversations were the mark of our era talk til dawn 'bout nothing in particular on the sidelines walkin the tightrope we were fearless cos we hadn't got hurt how does it feel to be swimming in marmalade to run through your dreams like an indigo child undo the pinks and the greens on your palette i never should have left you for all that while your best memory of us was when you shot me up on the hill as i was running away and tho' on that night we were just amateurs but i knew then you'd make it big some day reverse vortex up your kaleidescope meet alice and mary up as you fly stub your toe on a big wise oak tree but you're too lost in your mind to cry and now your canvas is whitewashed why're you in a hurry to peel it all off? now your canvas is whitewashed and it hurts you to recall how does it feel to be swimming in marmalade to run through your dreams like an indigo child undo the pinks and the greens on your palette i never should have left you for all that while open the rooms in that dark down hallway they'll bring you back to the ground one by one when you hit the bottom base you'll realise there was nothing wrong with you from the start
多想要找到一丝挣扎在你脸上 可是你美得冷得淡得像月亮 等著你的那辆车 灯闪一下 像催你草草断了我们的过往 约好要每年回到初拥吻的地方 划一个记号写下相恋的感想 等明年我剩一个人 坐在堤防 该唱首什么歌来纪念爱的傻 让你逃亡 又让你回航 让你依赖 我也让你倔强 只要你微笑 带一点感动的泪光 我就得到可以再给的力量 我让你飞翔 又让你说谎 我让你苛求 我也让你奢望 我还以为爱 就是要体贴的退让 我们一起盖的罗马 你却跟他拆了城墙 踩过我用挚爱建筑的天堂 太绝对的爱 变成了活该 朋友要我责怪 我却只想重来 也许这就叫爱 我让你飞翔 又让你说谎 我让你苛求 我也让你奢望 我还以为爱 就是要体贴的退让 我们一起盖的罗马 你却跟他拆了城墙 踩过我用挚爱建筑的天堂 多少日子盖的罗马 你用一夜拆了城墙 踩碎我曾让你□息的胸膛 moral of the story: it's not always rainbows and butterflies, but compromise that should move you along :)
the curtains are half-drawn
and it's late darling i'll cradle you in my arms or is it you holding me? the world of yesterday is wild and hungry but it cannot break this silent tranquility and as you close your eyes in our sanctuary that smile upon your face tells me i've found my peace